From Burnout to Boundaries & Walking Away With Grace!

“ Boundaries - the limits or guidelines a person establishes to protect themselves from being manipulated, mistreated, or overextended by others.”

OK so boundaries, let’s talk about ‘em. You know, those invisible lines we draw to protect our hearts, minds, and peace?  The hard NO’s that we often fold on in hopes that maybe the other person will be more understanding or aware next time. Or at least we say so so…Yeah, those ones. The line that every time it’s crossed a piece of you feels violated. YUP, the non-buzzword, buzzword. The most tossed around word or present day.

What happens after you establish your boundaries are equally, if not, MORE IMPORTANT than the establishment of the boundary. Now, what in the world do I mean by that? The establishment of boundaries in and of itself are words with no action. It is the initial thought that something needs to change. Something happened and we did not like the way it left us feeling emotionally so we put up defenses to protect us. Learning to establish boundaries and knowing when to walk away isn't always easy, but trust me, it's a game-changer when it comes to finding balance and reducing stress in your life.

Now if you have been following me for a while, you know that I am a fan of a good visual. For me, it is easier to commit to the act when I can clearly see the vision.

Soooooo…Picture this, life is in fact a circus (you may think otherwise), there is a lot going on at all times. Life is insanely BUSY. Now insert one of the most uniquely beautiful qualities (YOU) to the world (the crowd of perceived spectators).  You are the main attraction, walking along a tightrope, trying to maintain your balance. It’s windy and rocky up there. Now, imagine that tightrope is your emotional and mental state, and the people and situations around you are the winds threatening to knock you off course. Without boundaries backed with actions, you are now trying to walk that tightrope blindfolded. It becomes the perfect recipe for disaster (insert stress).

So, why are boundaries so important? Buckle up, story time…

There was a time when I used to say yes to everything and everyone, afraid of disappointing others or being seen as selfish. But the truth is, me saying yes when I really meant no only lead to resentment and burnout. I poured from an always DEPLETED cup. I kept giving what I didn’t have. Establishing boundaries isn't about building walls or shutting people out. It took a minute for that statement actually hit home for me. I was forced to look at what that really meant and where I was actually failing myself in not being firm in my application. I realized that I didn’t need to feel guilty for wanting an equal pour and I no longer felt guilty about honoring my needs and protecting my energy or the energy I allowed around me. I started saying yes to my peace of mind and no to anything that didn’t align with my values or nourish my soul. And let me tell you, it's incredibly EMPOWERING!

But here's the thing…boundary setting isn't a one-time thing. Just like forgiveness, it's an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness, communication, and sometimes, a whole lot of courage. It means recognizing when something or someone is causing you harm or draining your energy and having the strength to walk away. When do you know it’s time? Whether it's a toxic relationship, a draining job, or a friendship that no longer serves you, YOU WILL KNOW! We always know, we just gaslight ourselves into believing that the weird gut feeling that something didn’t, hasn’t or won’t ever sit right with us or that interaction will pass and that maybe ‘your hyper sensitive or over-reacting’. If you’ve ever felt like this…It’s TIME! The healthiest thing you can do is walk away.(I’m talking power mall walker status). You are not giving up or admitting defeat; you ARE choosing yourself and your well-being (stress included) above all of the continued negative and icky interactions so that when you pour you are not depleted.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But isn't walking away selfish?" Absolutely not! Walking away is an act of self-love and self-preservation. You are recognizing your own worth and refusing to settle for anything less than you deserve. When you have the courage to walk away from what no longer serves you, you create space for something better to come into your life.

Happy Healing 🫶🏽